34

So I turned 34 today and looking back at my life so far, I feel like I haven't done shit. I don't need to "have" anything to show for my 34 years; that misses the point, because I've got my two beautiful kids, along with a third on the way, and I'm pretty damn proud of them. But what the fuck am I doing? What the fuck have I done? I've lived roughly half of my life, if I make it to the average American male expectancy, and I haven't done much.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, but I can't look back without acknowledging some tremendous mistakes, as well as a few moments of sublime clarity.

I live a fairly good life I guess, but considering it's half over, it doesn't feel like enough. And the worst part is that I don't know what to do differently.

Weather the storm, ride it out. Blah blah fucking blah. Slow transcending agony.