Winter Clarity...

Walking through the fresh fallen snows tonight, with Paysage d'Hiver as a trusted companion, a lot of things began to make a fair amount of sense. That, or things became infinitely muddier...

I admit to harboring fairly misanthropic tendencies, and to being highly cynical at times; I don't feel particularly comfortable around people I don't know; most nights, I'd rather stay in than go out and actually do something, unless that "something" is going to a show; as a general rule, I don't trust people, even when I know I should; and finally, as I watch humanity destroy all that is sacred to me, I am deeply doubtful that we (as in the human race) will be able to "return" to our roots, to nature. I want to believe it, and I even see and feel hints in the air that suggest that it may not be too late to save ourselves and our planet from an untimely demise... I want to, so badly, but it's more than difficult - it seems to betray my better judgment.

Somehow, though, I also believe strongly in the redemptive capacities of man; we are animals after all, and while some might claim that placing "redemptive capacities" in the realm of animal characteristics is overstepping the boundaries of human knowledge, foresight, and consciousness, I know better. I've seen it with my own three eyes more times than can be accurately counted. I'm centered enough to know - to remember - that anything with the tiniest degree of self-consciousness has the moral capacity to be redeemed.



Perhaps my mind is clear because the Winter season is finally upon us; anyone who knows me knows that I am fully alive and at the height of my being in the Winter. Sure, I'm prone to depression, but not in the Winter, as many sadly are. There is simply too much beauty to feel sad now. The fresh coldness of the air is sweet upon my tongue, the snow soothing and reassuring to my spirit, the bitter winds a sometimes harsh reminder that no matter what we have to endure on daily basis, we are alive, and in our selves and our souls we are free. In that freedom we are kind, giving, and essentially good, and while I may not always choose to remember that, there is something to be said for plastering that on the filthy walls of civilization in order to remind our brethren that there is no need to dominate and destroy the sacredness of the natural world that we inhabit. We need only touch our inner being, in concert with a oneness with Life, to see that we, in our actions but not necessarily our selves, have gone wrong. If we simply look around and act upon our spiritual instincts, we can find our way once again.

Something tells me that we are doomed, but the more people perceive this impending doom, the greater the potential for redemption and salvation. I don't need some bankrupt belief in god to tell me that.